9 days of sobriety

9 days of sobriety.
ma calls -says people are pissed off with me on the telephone
more reality aka G'ma
2 more litres of cider
& wild palms.
Bravo to Sky 1.
- the end. (potentially premature - 1 year or more celibacy)

neat idea - my funeral.
got this idea that there's no one sat down or around
maybe it was old age or just circumstance.
not like anything on teevee
or just exactly like 4 weds & 1 funeral
who knows - I won't
less I see it in a dream
there's no ghost of reality
stalking these corridors of thought
no dusty cobwebs of antiquated grandeur
illusion of religious systemization

if only gothic
if only romantic
if only money
if only friends
if only eternity
if only if only

it doesn't matter for i will never care for anything that may happen when I am not 'there'.

to say 'i do' now is well suspect. star trek - next generation on sky1 "(gotta stay for the whole intro sequence before I know the episodes title - gosh how many seconds are passing...........as if it makes much difference to my life of the past year or ever.....heightened awareness matters or seeming clarity) Contagion"

Piss break -

Glimpse of ringing phone - another addiction. "it's good to talk" needing a beginning, middle & ending

waiting 1/4 of an hour for another tee vee prog on BBC2 terrestrial tv (listening to ATV) sad bastard or what - part time punk left over from last decade 80's - now a twat of indie 90's proportion.

these - some of them - scribbles of language on these pages are nonsensical & honestly truly unworthy of being wrote.

grown tired/bored of the prog. more interest in tape from early 80's. vision on muted sound >36 hours of video8 material like the way my legs hang from my thigh down to toe enclosed in shoes.