hey you get out of my brain
told you once wont tell you again
youve given me alot of pain
cuz you wont get outta my brain
loved you once now thats a fact
now i want you off my back
wannna go & live my life
an forget all this trouble & strife
becuz ive got you outta my brain
.........unfinished (badly remembered song written by me age 14 or 15)
well, all my waking thoughts are of you
when i said i was going back - think it took you ummmmm 1 day to give yr mobile number, written on piece of paper, to a bloke to giv to 'object of yr affection/desire'....and from that night texting about.....well guess what?! yeah sex...
next day - you waited in, cuz couldnt go out. i turn up unexpected after 'guy' sent a picture of his knob! - you saying no sex cuz of whatever reason....soon as i left....you went & fucked him.
yeah - thats what lovers' do....and you say - occasionally you still love me....as i occasionally do too.
jeez louise! its like i'm there as a mixed up teenager again, and the person i want is looking at me whilst fucking someone else and winking at me.....saying 'ohhhhh this is sooooo good'
why do i let my self get used & abused like this
why am i ranting on about this
(subject to editing, deletion, and terminal downward spirals of heartbroken, cheated, abused, despair) - nothing new there then?!
oh yeah excuse - 'well if i cant have you'(?)
Sunday 20 November 2011
Thursday 10 November 2011
the end of time......love is dead
yeah, should've seen it coming but - hell, love is blind.
Me, still all fired up...but clingy, needy, moany...doing 'your' head in
Her: well 'maybe i never really loved you' - paraphrased from an actual text
have you seen her blog, see what she wrote?
fuck so now after our 'affair' and the total destruction of my relationship...self-pityingly...poor poor me :-(
trying to get a life back from the fucken wreckage..
her? had an argument with the boyfriend - (never moved out, ever?)decided to have a fresh start, got fish in a tank, a puppy, new car, was gonna move to a new house etc etc.
moans at me for wanting her saying - hey, chill out - stop whining, or wingeing...i can either try & go back.
see her for occasional, covert sex,
or live a very sad lonely life
ha ha ha ha - and i thought she loved me - could never live without me! I still in some ways feel like this but! i'd just be fooling myself if i thought any of the mad, bad, intense crazyness we had - if any of it were still alive. Nope its totally dead.
My next goal is to get this through my thick skull and REALIZE the truth of it.
Love is a fools paradise
love is not eternal
when one side goes out - the other weakens & eventually dies....mine is weakening, but not enough - i need to KILL it dead! before i can move on!
Me, still all fired up...but clingy, needy, moany...doing 'your' head in
Her: well 'maybe i never really loved you' - paraphrased from an actual text
have you seen her blog, see what she wrote?
fuck so now after our 'affair' and the total destruction of my relationship...self-pityingly...poor poor me :-(
trying to get a life back from the fucken wreckage..
her? had an argument with the boyfriend - (never moved out, ever?)decided to have a fresh start, got fish in a tank, a puppy, new car, was gonna move to a new house etc etc.
moans at me for wanting her saying - hey, chill out - stop whining, or wingeing...i can either try & go back.
see her for occasional, covert sex,
or live a very sad lonely life
ha ha ha ha - and i thought she loved me - could never live without me! I still in some ways feel like this but! i'd just be fooling myself if i thought any of the mad, bad, intense crazyness we had - if any of it were still alive. Nope its totally dead.
My next goal is to get this through my thick skull and REALIZE the truth of it.
Love is a fools paradise
love is not eternal
when one side goes out - the other weakens & eventually dies....mine is weakening, but not enough - i need to KILL it dead! before i can move on!
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